Guys,

I fear going back to Malaysia.

Believe it or not, I'm actually scared of returning there.

People around me don't understand why I hate going back so much. They don't get it, they find it funny. And weird at the same time.

But it's been getting so bad that it's been haunting me in my dreams.

I refuse to go back to a place where so many bad memories exist. Where a family is so fucked up and can't stop their painful arguments. I should've gotten used to it after enduring it for so many years, but I still can't. I don't want to return to an old room where I used to cry there everyday. I don't want to see all the reminders of  my teenage years, where I struggled through being bullied and bullying others in return. I don't want to see the old things I drew, the pages  I ripped up, everything that told me how sad and angry I felt that time.

But I have to return home. I already have the flight tickets. Because I have to learn how to drive, and it's cheaper to learn it in Malaysia. It's inevitable.

And I hate it.

I don't really expect to get a reply for this, but...sigh. I'll just share it with you guys, I suppose.

*Gives virtual hugs*

How is everyone?

Kenji, how are things going on?

And Flamie, too.

I miss you guys.

Sometimes I feel that this is the best place to let it all out.