Dear Flamie, all these might seem gibberish to you - but it's more for Kenji to read, and I needed a place to express myself as well. So, here goes.

It was Halloween yesterday.

Of course nothing interesting happened. I stayed at home, knocked some stuff around, and tried my hardest to study.

And oh, my thoughts wavered around an ex of mine that I met during last year's Halloween party. I had dressed myself up as a witch, though people were so convinced I came as an anime character thanks to those fishnet gloves I got at some shop. My ex - he actually came as Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist - I still have the damn photos. He bought the whole darn outfit, complete with the silver pocket watch and all. Anyway, the rest of it was history. We hit it off, and were quite a source of gossip amongst school mates. We had our 'fun' in school, but I finally broke the relationship up after I came back with deep thoughts from my Europe trip in December. I didn't feel connected to him, and he was just being pushy over kissing. You all probably remember how I ranted about that.

Things were complicated after that. We rarely spoke to each other, and he was too afraid of giving me the cake he baked for my birthday. I didn't know about that, and only realized it a few days ago when his friends told me.

And so I casually texted him last night (Physics is a bitch), just for the heck of it. We were polite, pleasant, and the whole thing was fun. I smiled in a genuine manner after that, because I felt as if something heavy was lifted off me. It was probably the guilt. For months he and I could never talk to each other normally, and last night...well, sometimes someone just has to take the first step.

Dear, dear Kenji -

It's normal to fall hard. All the guys that I have truly fallen hard for have never accepted me, but guess what? I'm not going to give up on love, or the theory of love - until I finally find it. If you've ever come across close to giving it up (as how I sometimes feel), then remind yourself that since we've - ba-duhm - achieved a seven billion human population in this world, true love's probably waiting somewhere out there. In another country, in another place - someone - no, wait, I'm confident that thousands, even millions - are thinking about finding a real partner for themselves too.

What are the chances of us failing again, and again? High, definitely. But what are the odds of us failing again, and again - for the rest of our lives - and not even have a proper relationship which we truly cherish - once?

Keep living life, because somewhere out there - there are people who actually fight for their lives. People who fight to live, people who live to fight.

Anne's random rant #2 - OMG LIKE BBQ TWO MORE WEEKS AND SPM A.K.A O-LEVELS WILL HIT ITS OFFICIAL BEGINNING.