November 5th 2011

thanks. anne.
good luck on your upcoming spm.

i need to rant today,

recently i've been crushing on a guy, who appears to be reciprocating my feelings. though i assume its a joke, for comic relief. after all i've read of straight people just pretending for the heck of it. but then again, i let my feelings blind my rational thought. what was i thinking? i let a obviously straight guy fool me into thinking that i actually might've had the chance to find happiness. god i sound so cheesy. i let him fool me into thinking we could get into a relationship. i hate my emotions. i hate the fact that im a homosexual, i hate the fact that i have to find out if the other party is the same sexual orientation before even continuing progress. if i bother to take a risk it either gets akward or the friendship basically ends or my social life just basically comes to a halt and comes shattering down. i hate all of these. fuck conservatist . fuck the singaporean sexual discrimination campaigns. fuck its laws. but most importantly fuck myself for falling for someone not in my grasp. and letting myself get fooled by the gestures the habits the way we talk. now i have to go through the entire process of being angered. upset and hurt. ah well its life i can't stop this. but just maybe i was wishing for this to work out. screw this. ah well. i shall not let myself to get fooled anymore by the gestures and the way of speech we seem to have. i shall shatter this fantasy i carved for myself.

okay thats done. i bought a suit today!!! :D i spent a bomb like $400 and stuff. really happy.~ k maybe not.