Perhaps I really should start dividing and writing out lists like that. Memory lane and all that shit, you know?

I feel better now, loads better due to the fact that I have this ability to tell my emotions to fuck off if I really tried. Not like I said it to his face, but I probably repeated it mentally to myself too many times until the hurt I felt just disappeared.

I'm no longer hurt. No, I treat it like a lesson, an experience - fuck it all, he probably bragged about it to his closest friends, that he kissed the girl from February Arts who got the highest grades and who swore like a sailor despite how quiet she looked.

Ps: No, Kenji, lip piercings do not get in the way...somehow. It's a fucking miracle. I have no fucking idea how the fuck lip piercings work. Fuck. Anyway...

Well, fine. I would admit it, I lost to whatever game he was playing on that night.

It doesn't matter.

I can brag about it too.

It's nothing to be proud of, and I know it. It's nothing I should tell the world about, and I know it. But it's an experience that taught me something. And I'll use it to my advantage in the future, if I ever need to. Because this is life, isn't it? It's about experiences. The painful ones the happy ones the ones that make you so angry you wished you could throw a brick in someone's face and call an ambulance for the brick. That sort of thing.

This Aussie guy? Well, now he's having a change of heart. As opposed to how he was avoiding me previously, he now keeps finding excuses to be around me. He probably still can't decide whether to take me or leave me. He keeps bugging me, hanging around me...oh my god, and this town is so friggin' small. I can be randomly walking around town and bump into him, shopping for motherfucking avocados.

Not that I want to bring any avocados into this, of course, but seriously, what the fuck?

Maybe he genuinely likes me, but is just being a dick in showing his feelings.

Well, if he does like me, he certainly took the wrong step in the first place by avoiding me for so long. And now that I've completely shut my heart out away from him, it doesn't hurt as much. I'm watching, waiting, anticipating what he does. It's interesting, and amusing.

And this is where I start being a cold-hearted, icy bitch.

Because I want to and because I can.

...

I'm returning home in two weeks time. At this point, although I am unwilling, I feel calm. Perhaps it won't be as bad as I think.

How is everyone?