8th January 2013

I assume that eventually i'll end up psychotic .

I have so much negativity bottled up inside me, with no outlet to vent it all out.

school has been hectic, projects and assignments due soon, and group mates who won't contribute much.

friends who wouldn't give a hoot about my well being. I mean unless I jump down a cliff or something, which is what I've been considering to be a valid option to end all this negativity.

I'm just so tired, so exhausted of trying to be strong, because eventually even a fake front of strength means people will care less about you, eventually to the point where they don't care at all because they assume you're alright and that you don't crumble. eventually completely being indifferent to your cries of pain and suffering.

I just want a friendship like I used to have, where I need not chuckle a word, and have someone know that something's wrong on the inside, a simple gesture of care would actually do me so much right now. 

Just when things were getting alright, I end up relying on people too much yet again, I need to fucking get it in my head that when all's said and done, or in my case nothing being said or done at all, nobody's gonna be left there except yourself. 

I'm just so very very exhausted with life. and its only been 8days into the new year. hahaahhaaha.