27th November 2012

I should just drop out of school , what's the point of even attending school when I just feel more and more like shit everyday. Generally nobody cares whether I'm in school or not. I don't bring about anything. I'm just a significant waste of space here . Even the people who used to care treat me like I'm invisible now. I just want to stay at home and rot at this point. Fuck everything. I feel so alone Here. And practically the only thing keeping me going is the short time at night I spend gaming with my secondary school mates. Otherwise I'd prolly do something stupid by now.
"Friends. 

Lately it seems that I lack those, funny because I never really pictured myself to be one of those "hi bye" types. But lately it feels like the only way to prevent myself from feeling more isolated more lonely. 

School, I really dread you. I can't wait for next year when we all split apart. Because at this rate. I'll have nothing left to keep me from self destructive tendencies. I've already been cutting myself n smoking. And frankly im disappointed with myself, for ever doing these kinds of things."

Ignore the cutting and smoking part. Cause I haven't really done that in massive scary kind of abuse. Just once or twice.

 Just me being melodramatic.

I'm just so unhappy in school. So terribly sad.

I feel so fucking pathetic writing shit like this. And it's ironic because the only things I have to talk to is my phone's notepad and this blog to rant to. I really miss you two, I hope you're doing well. 

24th November 2012

I miss that, having a close friend you can randomly plan a last minute outing with. Shop eat yogurt and have fun. Thanks for once again making me feel like shit. Making me dwell in self pity. Thanks. 

I fucking hate you. I hope you perish. Maybe then I'll be happier.