5th december 2011

hmmm, so recently, okay now for that matter.
i was struggling with the concept of "love" and actually came to find some understanding of it. im not saying these are true, but are observations on how it happens and or how its portrayed in movies. also some points i noted and saw happening to myself based on the movie "apple of my eye"

i realized although as cliche as the plot of the show is, it still generated alot of revenue. reason is people were able to relate to the simplistic style of the story and the innocence in which the audience sees from the amateur actors. < assuming they are amateurs. anyway i've come to see how love happens in the movie and based on myself.

i'm not assuming love at first sight is wrong. but i generally think that you truly like a person after time. love at first sight should be more considered as infatuation, or perhaps lust. it feels significant at first but generally wears off over time, i mean can you imagine yourself spending your entire lifetime with said person if you barely know anything about them at all?. generally love at first sight seems rather beneficial, assuming your in some sort of education, the people who fall into this infatuation really do not have the guts to talk to said crush. as observed when i saw my stupid classmates, i mean friends. i do note that they feel some form of hurt. well duh. but yes although painful it does not strike to me as excruciatingly horrible. it takes about a week or less to get over such a crush. evident from when my friend had his crush crushed. and was all better after a little shopping trip at orchard with a few friends. but at the same time i do note that certain individuals tend to suffer a little longer then a week. well everyone's different.

anyway to get to the point.
i truly believe love, well isn't achievable at first sight. it happens over time. its something nobody can control as well. certain factors do play a part though.

firstly, it begins as friends. being friends means you already established common ground and a mutual connection and understanding. and as time goes by, lets assume you become closer. trust is established. and you proceed from just the "hi" from the hallways to talking over the phone and going out. i'll quote myself as an example. i met him early last year. we were just saying "hi" or pulling stupid antics to eachother nothing more. but we started talking more this year and got closer, later on trust was established and he confided his problems with me. and then we proceed to the next stage

then it proceeds to the next stage. being best friends, this part is where you have a great understanding for eachother. you slowly start going out more with eachother and enjoy eachother's company. it goes to the point where you speak the same words sometimes and have same mindsets. you care for the fella. i'll quote myself as an example. as he confided his problems with me, concerning some wh0re he liked, i as well a kind person, most of the time tried my best to cheer him up. even going to the point of surprising him with a birthday cake on his birthday, at that point i didn't know or feel anything, but slowly i found myself forming some type of affection for him. i didn't notice it though. i blame it on the time i spent with him alone. just me and him. we went out several times, alone just me and him, i soon found myself slowly attracted to him. not in a sexual manner, but i just liked being with him, talking to him. thats where the friendship boundary was crossed and i found myself "loving" him more than just in friend terms. and yes this is the part where u find yourself in love. through the time spent together and through the mutual understanding you both share after being in company with one another. it feels amazing at this point, being with said person. i find this form of attraction more genuine then the so called infatuation. this form is rather refined. im not saying that any form of affection is better. but hey this one seems more real. but yes with more happiness gained from this form of attraction, the draw back is even more painful as well. i found myself crying, feeling excruciating pain in my "heart" as i found myself neglected and not being able to spend time with him. it got so bad that i went all the way to look for him before he had to go to work. (i left home at 6am) to get to his place. it hurts like a prick. i wallowed in self pity. the pain was fucked up.

okay, wtf i suddenly lost track of where i was going HAHAHAHA.

sorry for da wall of text. was just penning down my thoughts. i miss you flamie and anne ;-;.